Friday, April 22, 2011

What's wrong with you!?

Ben has a thing..... We all do, but Ben's can be annoying. Lately he's enjoying flushing things down the toilet. This isn't exactly a new thing. He had a spin at it about a year ago. We replaced the toilet, bought a lock (much to my mother and grandmothers chargin) and eventually "it" went away.
Ben became much better at using the potty on his own (provided the light was on) and we didn't want to impede this. The lock went away.
Well, each day when Ben comes home from school, his first words are... "I'd like to take a shower please." Strips himself down to his socks, and heads on in.
This week, we've lost two bars of soap to flushing. I talk very seriously to him... No Flushing!
Well.... he got me. I heard a "disturbance" in the bathroom, and caught him flashing thru the bathroom to throw in my hair conditioner and a wash rag. Damn! I run like the wind and dive with both hands into the toilet. Sweet! Now I need a shower.... At that point, I could see something had made it's way down. Ben runs to the bedroom and starts asking to watch his Barney movie. I stand in the doorway with my hands on my hips and yell "What is wrong with you?". Takes me about 6.5 seconds to recall exactly what that is, and I snort at myself. The thing is... and I must know... Does he realize he's misbehaving, and if so, does he realize that there are consequenses? Does autism give you a free ride? What are appropriate punishments? What are the expectations I should have? Is the sheer delight of watching miscellanious items circle the bowl supercede the constant reminders of "don't flush your friends"? I must know, because if given the go ahead, I will ........oh I'll think of something.....
My husband and I are not on speaking terms. He gets home, and I let him know about the "incident". Dumb ass goes in and flushes. HA! I hear him heading downstairs for the wet vac. Comes up stairs, get the toilet water up. Yells out "Where's my tools" You mean the ones you've left in the den for the last 5 months? I drug them downstairs over the weekend in preperation for company. You know you're f*n family. Goes back downstairs with a "think your funny..." To be honest, at that point, I was enjoying myself. Then he takes the toilet off (2x in the last month) and tries getting the object out. After 1/2 hour he gives up and buys a new toilet. Frankly, for 85 bucks, I would have rather seen him try a little harder. Quitter.
Now... I do get that some may think, perhaps, that I should be watching him in the shower to prevent these incidents. Well.... that may be. Thing is, this is the time I've been using to get dinner ready. and I do check frequently. When I'm checking, he's sitting in the shower, soaping himslef up, or playing with his pirate ship... he's a sneaky little turd.
Yesterday during his shower, I put the trash can and plunger on top of the toilet seat figuring if he tries to get in, I'd have a heads up. I went to check on him and he's a stealth sucker. He was flushing as I opened the door. Don't know what or if it was, but as of today.. we can still flush.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Giving Thanks

A lot of the blogs I read are written by religious women. I'm not, and it wasn't planned, it just happened. One of the blogs has weekly been giving thanks for things in her life. I decided, let me do the same. Think of 10 things that are good with my life, when so often I only see the dark side. 1. Ben's belly laughs - they're contagious 2. My mother - always on my side, and has learned when it's better to say nothing. 3. My own sense of humor - for some reason, I make myself laugh 4. Quit smoking - it's been three weeks, and I'm feeling pretty good about it 5. Fletcher - Our Golden Retriever. The village idiot, but still good for a laugh. 6. My job - How nice is it, to go to a job and not mind, even get some enjoyment out of it. 7. Spring - My commute to work is picturesque. Spring is utterly gorgous in my neck of the woods. 8. Ben's improvements - Ben is getting better at letting me know what it is he wants. He's even getting a sense of humor himself, and it's been great to be able to share it with him. 9. Food and Shelter - some take it for granted, others may say I've earned it. I don't want to take it for granted though. 10. Living in a country where I can feel safe. You look at the news, listen to the radio, and wonder how people live from one day to the next. We don't know how fortunate we are.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

IEP's a sure sign of spring

If you read any other autism blogs, it seems obvious that spring begets flowers, showers, and IEP's. Today was Bens. These teachers are crafty!!! They start off raving about how cute and sweet your child is, and BAM... you're sucked in. Just kidding. They all did say it, but of course I know it's true, so I could not blame them. Ben is doing well. He's opening up more and more each day. They see it at school, and we see it at home. Ben is a very with it kid. You hear of many autistic children who appear to be in their own world. Ben if very much in the here and now. Even when it appears he's paying you no mind, don't kid yourself. Whisper Chucky Cheese, and you'll know! The goals for next year are pretty high. They're looking for him to be able to have age appropriate converstaion.....hmmm..... well, I guess that's our goal, so let's have at it. He'll be writing his first and last name (capital's). I will supply dunkin donuts for a year if this goal is reached. I'll be so proud, I'll pop. Asking the "w" questions. I know they're the hardest, so I asked which one they were starting with. What. Can I get a vowel? I then asked "Can you give me an example of a what question" duh... All in all it was a positive meeting. On another note..... We get to the school, and we're sitting on a bench outside of the principal's office. Down the hall comes a woman (aide) with a child who is on the spectrum. (Gaydar has nothing on us parents) The child looks happy (around 7) next thing, he tries to jerk away (much like Ben will do when he gets something in his mind) from "this woman" She jerks his arm, and starts saying in a nasty voice "you're not getting water. What? you want a reward for trying to get away!?" "you'll need to earn your reward" And at that point he's crying. Are you %&*#$ kidding me? After our meeting, I ask to speak to the psycologist in the hall. I told her what had happened, and if this had been my child, she probably wouldn't realize how unhappy I would have been. That Ben would have jerked if he had wanted something... hello!!! Autism.... not great at communicating their needs.... It was a situation that sits on a border. Was there abuse.... I can't pin it.... She jerked his arm, but not enough to hurt him physically. She spoke in what I would consider a intimidating voice, but didn't threaten him.....but there also wasn't that environment of caring, making a child feel loved....I hate people. I work in a retirement community, and an assited living facility very close by just had a horrible case of abuse yesterday. People need to stand up and say something when something looks wrong. There are 4 people who are going to be arrested for abusing a 78 yr old woman with alzheimers. Did no one see what was going on? People! Speak up! That could be your child or grandmother.