Monday, August 9, 2010

it's a friggin see-saw

Life.... phhtttttt

I swear life is a constant see-saw. you're up...your down...
When I'm up, it's like out of one of those B-movies.... the blue sky, the sun shining, and rose petals falling from the sky... what a ride
When I'm down... there you are, on the ground, staring up at everyone around you.
I know I'm not alone on this ride. The see-saws are lined up for miles with every imaginable person riding. But you CAN'T get off. Even when you think you're going to puke... STUCK.
We practice balancing. of course the fact that there's more then one other person rocking your boat doesn't matter. you spread everyone out, and hope no one jumps off (I always hated that kid), or falls off..... but they do.
I picked Ben up from day-care on Friday and one of the young aids is speaking of how wonderful he is, putting words into catagories. he's soo cute, etc. I leave there thinking that Ben truly is an ambasador to autisim. He's introduced autisim to several people who hadn't known someone with it previously. It made me proud of him.
Ben's communication had really ramped up well. Speaking of how he's started to catagorize, he started with transporation. I was playing around with him and started with Nick jr shows. I mentioned a few, to get the idea going, and he threw in several. Oswald, backyardigans, and one other. Shows he fully understands what I'm doing and enjoyed participating. We did it with colors also. Great!
We went swimming on Thursday and an hour in looked at me "get hamburger.. go home". OK I can deal with that.
Now when the ride goes down... BILLS!!! I f*ck*n hate them. My husband has a unique way of deciding which bill to pay. Cable yes... car payment.. they can wait... AHHHH!!!!!!
We went to open arms on Sunday at the discovery museaum. It's nice... but.... it can bring me down. There are the children doing well. I can't tell. (and I'm always watching) and others who are so obvious. Where will Ben fall,,,, What improvements.... I'm tired!!! and that's without even doing anything.
PMS is a bitch... and today... so am I