Wednesday, March 31, 2010

We should all care

How many causes are out there we vow to uphold. Several, and most are completely worthy. Well.. I have a new one. When we (Adults) are out, whether it's the mall, the park, the bus,and we see kids being inappropriate, we speak up. How often have you seen unacceptable behaviour and given a look, or said something to whomever you were with, but didn't address the person with the behavior?
Today at the park a group of young teenage boys were hanging out. I have no problem with that. As I enter the park I'm watching one boy kick the wood bars out of a fence. They're the big log bars and they're removed and put back 100 times a year, so I wasn't overly invested, but said "Don't break the fence". This was said pretty casually and without malice. One boy, which is all it takes begins being "fresh" I say "you shouldn't be fresh" he comes back with more. Now, I'm not concerning myself with fresh ass, that's for his parents who must know what he's like, and I'm sure eventually the police will become his friend, I feel bad about this.
The thing is.... Let's as adults agree not to allow kids to behave like this without comment. Let's agree as adults when kids are speaking and looking for the shock factor with eithe language, sexual content, etc, we stand up annd say something.
I live near South St. in Philly and was there a couple Saturdays ago duing the day. That night a huge group of kids had a flash mob. They drug people from cars, kicked a woman's teeth out and generally led chaos. It is time for adults to say No. If there's 1, 2, or 10.
It's for our good as well as theirs.
And if your a parent and a neighbor or anyone takes the time to let you know about your child thank them.
Don't play neighboorhood peacekeeper. If you know a neighbors child is doing what they shouldn't, have the respect to think the parents would want to know.
This is my vow.

Monday, March 29, 2010

Big night out

Brent and I went for a night out Sat.
It is truly a feast or famine situation. 46 saturday nights a year, we're sitting in, or a big night at Micky D's.
This saturday... We're invited to my bosses house for a party
It's Ben's open arms swim night at the YMCA
Our neighbors invite us to an all expense paid night at Harrah's..

What the F*

My mom came over to babysit and she was meeting this challenge with a very positive attitude. Well... that didn't last long.
Ben started crying when we left and never recovered until he went to bed. He refused to walk upstairs, and my mother can't carry him... They were both left traumatized. All this in 2.5 hours.
Is the answer.. don't leave him, or leave him more often?
I don't think our babysitters will last too long.

We went to the party, which is a 45 minute drive. Brent is not a drinker, so designated driver is no big deal. I did ask on the way home (we left at 11) if he wanted to stop close to home and get a beer. His answer was "we have a lot to do tomorow (I was cooking passover). We reminised about the times when it DID NOT MATTER what was planned for the next day, we could go out, tear it up, and still get her done.
Then we started thinking how old we were when we did that, and decided that indeed, it was a good idea to go home, get in bed, and rest for the coming day.
Getting old is a bitch!!!

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Mr. Christie:

It's so funny, I refuse to curse or to attack you personally, and yet it continues to just get harder to keep that promise to myself. The more I read, the more informed I become, the harder it is to not personalize this.
I read this:To close a deficit that he asserted was approaching $11 billion, Governor Christie called for the layoffs of 1,300 state workers, closings of state psychiatric institutions, an $820 million cut in aid to public schools, and nearly a half-billion dollars less in aid to towns and cities. He also suspended until May 2011 a popular property-tax rebate program, breaking one of his own campaign promises.
SERIOUSLY?????You're taking from children, the mentally impaired?... then I kept reading:cutting state-financed school breakfasts and rental assistance and trimming the state’s earned-income tax credit to 20 percent of the federal benefit, from 25 percent.
Well Mr. Christie. I'll be in Trenton on Wednesday. I'm joining other parents and childrens with disabilites to come and let you know our feelings. I'll ask that you come out to speak to us, but I've seen nothing but arrogance and a bullying attitude from you. Additionally, if I were to see you face to face, I don't know that I could keep my own promise to myself.Better you should hide away in shame.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

hate crime?

Would a reduction of 98% in Special Education funding be described as a hate crime?

Crimes and violence against people with disabilities is an invisible epidemic. These are largely violent or personal crimes, rape, assault, and murder, as well as economic crimes. Most experts agree that the rate of violent crime is from 4 to 10 times higher for people with disabilities than for the general population.
The motivation for such crimes are based on deep psychological distortions such as bias, contempt, hate, anger, deep insecurity, the need for dominance, and a discomfort with the different. There are offenders who deliberately target people with disabilities. These are often people who are intensely insecure with a constant need to address their feelings of inadequacy and lack of control over others. They seek authority and control and a sense of superiority over others perceived as inferior and vulnerable. This is a description of a classic bias or hate crime.

and I emailed him again

As I continue to consider the ramifications of your budget choices, I also began to think...The fights you go thru with a "non-typical child"People staring at you wherever you goPraying that a child takes interest in yours so they can hava A friend. I single child that will see mine for who he is.While most parents are planning for T-Ball, summer camp, and kindergarten, We're doing estate planning for when we can't be here to take care of him anymore.Now throw in having to fight the governers office for their ignorance and indifference.Thank you Governer. I must say, your 98% cut to my son's funding was a worry, fight, and heartache I never saw coming. Good Job!

email to Gov. Christie, NJ

This is the email I woke up to today. What are you thinking? Are you kidding? I wonder.. do your kids go to public school? Do any of your children have special needs? I'm going to clarify for you in case you are confused.. My son is not picked up in a limo each day. My son is not fed filet minon or sea bass for lunch. Our children are not being flown to Disney World for school outings. I'm sure you think this money would be better spent by using it for.... no... I can't actually come up with how you are thinking. I've disagreed with politicians before, but often, and even with George Bush, believed that they were actually doing what they thought best for the people they represent. Bluntly.. I think you are doing this for your own good and for a future soap box to stand on. There is no doubt in my mind that you are using our children, their education, and for many special ed students, their lives to further your own ambitions. Karma.... it's a bitch.

____________________________________________________________________
Dear Members,The below message was posted by the district on the website yesterday. We have learned that the Special Education Categorical Aid was reduced from $5,790,429 to $93,517. It is a reduction of 98.4%. We will keep you informed on our advocacy efforts to fight these cuts.Please note that much of the information you have received on the district’s budget is no longer valid. As spelled out in their press release, “an additional $6.1 million in cuts and/or revenue enhancements will need to be identified to close the gap created by the loss in state aid.”The final budget meeting is tonight at 7 PM in Cherry Hill East’s Auditorium.Nancy Muldowney“The PTA organization is a volunteer organization of adults and students whose sole purpose is to advocate for children and youth.”

DISTRICT TO LOSE $8.5 MILLION IN STATE AID FOR 2010-201150% Reduction in Aid Follows Loss of $3.9 Million This YearState aid figures released late this afternoon show that the Cherry Hill School Districtwill receive just $7,937,365 in general fund state aid for 2010-2011 – a one-year loss of $8,579,467.District officials were stunned by the news. “This is devastating for Cherry Hill, and for public education throughout New Jersey,” said Dr. David Campbell, Superintendent of Schools.Details of the cut, which represents a 50% reduction from the 2009-2010 appropriation, came just one day before the Board of Education is scheduled to approve a preliminary budget. Districts must submit their budgets to the Executive County Superintendent for approval by March 22. The Public Hearing and Final Budget Adoption is scheduled for March 31 and the budget election will be held on April 20.In his budget address on March 16, Governor Christie promised school districts tools to help them deal with the state aid reductions; no tools came with the bad news.The district had forecast a 15% reduction in state aid based on directives from theCounty Superintendent. Just two weeks ago, school districts received a request from the DOE for the projected number of layoffs if state aid were held flat.The $8.5 million cut comes on top of the loss of $3.9 million in excess surplus and other reserve funds that the Governor confiscated to balance the state’s budget deficit in the current year.“The Board deliberately set aside those funds last spring to help us deal with the aid cuts we knew would be coming in 2010-2011,” noted Jim Devereaux, Assistant Superintendent, Business. Through budget meetings that began in January, district administrators have identified various scenarios of reductions. The worst-case scenario identified $12.2 million in reductions and a loss of about 175 positions. At a four-hour budget meeting last night, the Board came to agreement on $6.6 million in reductions and approximately 94 positions.Based on today’s news, an additional $6.1 million in cuts and/or revenue enhancements will need to be identified to close the gap created by the loss in state aid.Thursday’s special budget meeting will be held at Cherry Hill High School East and will begin at 7 pm.

Friday, March 12, 2010

before I judge another....

I work in a retirement community. I work in the Human Resources department, and though I am extremely friendly, and try to be as non-threating as possible, I still have the aura of "big brother" around me.
I'm not apologizing for my job by saying I try to be non-threatning, but many of our employees come from other cultures, where authority figures don't always have their interest at heart.
I'm fortunate because departmental directors are wonderful here, and we play very ethically. If an employee is being disiplined or dismissed... they've earned that action.

any way... While we were doing our benefits this year, I spoke to a C.N.A I've been friendly with. I hired her, and she's always pleasent to chat with. During this converation, she asked if she could use her flex card for her son. I asked how old he was and she replied 22. I then asked if he was in college, which would still give him dependent status,. She shook her head no and whispered... autistic....
I looked at her, smiled and said my son also. I could see she was a little uncomfortable, so I didn't persue it further at this point.
About 2 weeks later I asked about her son, and she wrote on a piece of paper.. autistic...
I looked at it and said "I know, you told me earlier"
That night driving home, I felt sorry for her. She comes from a different country, and is autisim, or any disability, a sign of weakness there.... etc etc.
Then I thought, so many know and ask about my son... my goodness he's 4 already, yadda yadda yadda, yet few co-workers know that he's autistic. I have told more lately, but why not everyone?
Well... I wrote in an earlier post, which still holds true, I never want people to tilt their head, and ask sympathetically "How's Ben?" Ben is not my cross to bear, or someone to pity.
Also, I think I have to keep home at home sometimes. I can't let go and really get into it often. Those I do tell ask questions, and I answer, but sometimes it does make my eyes shine.
So.. who am I to judge why this woman chooses or chooses not to share.

Friday, March 5, 2010

sooooo damn nasty!

A "typical" day in my life.
A read a blog from a mom who had been dealing with her daughter's sh*t for weeks. The child is 14, and not only is not potty trained, but finds spreading the love a fun activity.
I had sympathy. Ben's not nearly that bad, but again, he's not against dropping his pants wherever he is in our house, and planting a log on the floor. fortunately when he's done, he has no further interest in it. Wish I could say the same for the dog. I've had to scream more then once... half the time to no one in particular.... he's got a shit in his mouth!!!! ooooohhhh.
Well...... yesterday Ben and I went to ocupational therapy. Our routine is to get there, sign in, and immediately try to go to the bathroom. We do this, and Ben urinates, no problem. When we come out, he goes to play and our therapist immediatly walks over. I say "come on Ben!" and watch him start walking like a cowboy. hmmmmm.... I feel the back of his pants, and sure enough...
We go into the bathroom, and it's VERY loose bowels. While I'm trying to figure the best way to attack this problem, he's digging his hands in his pants.
I stand him on the toilet, try to take his pants down, and I've now desicrated the toilet and his socks. I'm holding him upside down, trying to get papertowels, and praying his ass doesn't hit me in the face. Did I mention I'm in a CROWDED waiting room bathroom?
I finally do get him cleaned up, always have a spare change of clothes, so he's as fresh as he's getting and off to therapy I go.
Later that same night....... I give Ben his bath, read his books, and he's off to sleep. I come downstairs and notice the dog, out back, rolling on the patio... All... isn't he cute... he must have an itch.
I bring him in, and notice he's wet around the neck and chest. One little detail.. we have a pond in the back of our house that the dog has become very interested in.
Once we come inside, I notice he smells. I'm talking to him as if waiting for a response asking what he's gotten into, etc.... I see what I think is a piece of mulch in the THICK hair around his neck. It's soft and slimy and definitly not mulch. It's the back fin of a fish he's dug out of the pond and rolled in. The fish carcass is embedded in his scruff fur. I start screaming I'm going to throw up, I'm going to throw up!!!1 Husband comes in, and dislodges as much of the carcass as possible, and there I am, 9:30pm, scrubbing the dog,
I finished scrubbing him, and am embarresed to admit... I drained the tub, and left it. Perhaps today that will be my only hurtle....????? YEAH RIGHT!!!!

Thursday, March 4, 2010

It's funny, as I go thru the day, each day, I think of scores of topics to use on this blog. Yet, by the time I'm going thru my blogs, I can't think of a single worthy thing to say. I have several blogs that I check on daily. They always seem so insightful and original... So I'll just give a couple of short takes. not a whole blog, just quick ideas.... My 18 year old told me he took and passed the GED. I found that hard to believe. He was never studious and hasn't been in school for a year and a half. I wasn't so unsure that I flat out called him on it, but I did let him know I was suprised. Out of curiousity for how hare/easy they make the test, I went to a sight that gives several demo questions for th eGED. I failed miserably. Grant it, and this is painful to say, I've been out of school for almost 25 years, but seriously it didn't look remotely familiar. Now I can flat out say b*llsh*t! Ben's birthday is in July. July 8th to be exact. I don't know how I feel about sending him to Kindergarten next year. My 18 year old also has a july birthday, and with him also I thought about waiting the extra year to give him time to mature. I asked a teacher, and she said, he'll be fine send him. So I went against my own caution and signed him up. After I did, she sought me out, and said she too had a summer baby, and if she could do it over agian would have held him back.... I spoke at Ben's last conference of wanting to hold him. It was not a warmly recieved notion. I was basically told that it's not done. My question was, is it not done because no one has ever done it, or is there a law/written rule forbidding it. Well needless to say that don't prohibit you from doing it. You'd have to apeal, but it could happen.
Indecision.. and why does every decision feel like the most important one... decision du jour... nah I'll just have dessertt