before I judge another....

I work in a retirement community. I work in the Human Resources department, and though I am extremely friendly, and try to be as non-threating as possible, I still have the aura of "big brother" around me.
I'm not apologizing for my job by saying I try to be non-threatning, but many of our employees come from other cultures, where authority figures don't always have their interest at heart.
I'm fortunate because departmental directors are wonderful here, and we play very ethically. If an employee is being disiplined or dismissed... they've earned that action.

any way... While we were doing our benefits this year, I spoke to a C.N.A I've been friendly with. I hired her, and she's always pleasent to chat with. During this converation, she asked if she could use her flex card for her son. I asked how old he was and she replied 22. I then asked if he was in college, which would still give him dependent status,. She shook her head no and whispered... autistic....
I looked at her, smiled and said my son also. I could see she was a little uncomfortable, so I didn't persue it further at this point.
About 2 weeks later I asked about her son, and she wrote on a piece of paper.. autistic...
I looked at it and said "I know, you told me earlier"
That night driving home, I felt sorry for her. She comes from a different country, and is autisim, or any disability, a sign of weakness there.... etc etc.
Then I thought, so many know and ask about my son... my goodness he's 4 already, yadda yadda yadda, yet few co-workers know that he's autistic. I have told more lately, but why not everyone?
Well... I wrote in an earlier post, which still holds true, I never want people to tilt their head, and ask sympathetically "How's Ben?" Ben is not my cross to bear, or someone to pity.
Also, I think I have to keep home at home sometimes. I can't let go and really get into it often. Those I do tell ask questions, and I answer, but sometimes it does make my eyes shine.
So.. who am I to judge why this woman chooses or chooses not to share.