Firsts

Today will be Ben's first day of outside OT. We have an appointment at the Weisman Center today. Ben will have his initial consultation, and then from here out OT every Thursday at 5:00. We're trying to get speach (which is our #1 concern), but it appears it's a busy little place and we're on a waiting list. The hard part for them to schedule is, we'd like back to back therapy's. Our insurance is fantastic! we get 90 therapy days per year. if to the two therapys are back to back on the same day, it still only counts as one day.
To be able to do this (get out of work 2 hours early) it makes sense I come in two hours early. I had to soft sell this to my boss. She really is very accomodating, and I work at a retirement community in HR. I was able to soft sell this as being available for the 11-7 shift once a week would be good pr for the department.
I HATE GETTING UP EARLY. 5AM is early enough, but the puppy decided he was done sleeping at 4AM. For some ungodly reason, Brent and I want him to sleep in bed with us. half the time he gets off the bed on the floor, so I'm not sure why we don't just put him in our bathroom like we had been. He wakes up and licks my face, and then to top it off.... ate my cell phone. Yup.. there it was... dented, screen cracked, you name it.
Well, my hope for tonight is, this will seem like more fun then work to ben. With his long days at school and daycare I don't want to fry him. OT typically is a "fun" time with various sensory activities etc, so I'll let you know.
Tomorow I have Ben's school conference... which as I mentioned in a previous post his teacher was expecting a baby... got the notice last night she went a month early and delivered yesterday. Good for her she's as sweet as could be. Fortunatley Ben's typically a smooth transitioner so I don't forsee any problems with him and a substitute.
till then.......

ebb and flow

I was pretty down last week. I was overwhelmed with a variety of issues. Nothing in my life seemed stable, with the exception of work.
Fighting the traffic, to get home and live in a bathroom, make a dinner, care for a dog.. too much
I wasn't speaking to my husband. The last words I said to him for 4 days was probably enough to hold him.
My other two boys are much older then Ben. they're 20 and 18. If you've ever heard the saying little kids, little problems, bigger kids, bigger problems.. Know that someone with experience uttered them first.

Then the weekend came. What I had been dreading. Well, it was actually better then I could have hoped.
Ben did EXCELLENT with his potty training. 2 accidents on Sat and a couple on Sun. We did not stay prisoners in the house as we had expected, just had Ben use MANY public potties. He went at Wegmans, Target, Friendly's, Starbucks, McDonalds.... why not get him used to variety?
The best fun I had with this experience is, Brent, Ben, Fletcher (dog) and I went to Haddonfield. Brent took Ben into Starbucks to "try" Well...... there was a BM waiting for Brent. He gets off Bens underwear and sits him on the pot to pee. He does, but that's after spreading his crap all over the toilet seat. When he's done, Brent is conscientiously cleaning it up, with Ben turning off the light every 10 seconds. Sooooo glad I was sitting on a park bench outside in 70 degree weather wondering what the hell was taking so long!
Ben is also very smart. With one of his accidents he removed his pants and underwear and hid them behind our recliner. If I don't see them, I don't know he went in his pants. Also, everytime he uses the potty his father or I will say "High Five!" If he doesn't feel like sitting he'll start yelling out "High Five!" with the hopes we'll be distracted and just let him down.
Gotta love that kid!

Last night was open arms at the NJ Discovery Museaum. I night for autistic kids and their families. We had a great time. Staff was great, the activities are fun, and it was free!. It's 10 minutes from our house, and we've been there 2 other times. Funny thing, each time we go, a new activity becomes a favorite. I had an interesting thought (at least to me), that last night I almost felt a little sorry for the higher functioning kids. The kids you couldn't really tell if they had an issue, and when they "acted out" didn't recieve the kindly smiles from the other parents, but the look like "is he picking on my kid". Now quite honestly, maybe some of the kids were just brats, but since I wasn't sure.... I packed my big bag of patience and rolled with all.

he cried

I have the distinct downfall of being the mother who just wants everybody to be happy. It doesn't work. Life is not all apple pie and roses, and when you try to create that environment, you set your kids up to be miserable. (as well as feel like your having a stroke 16 hours of the day)
I read the best blog yesterday that couldn't have come at a better time. It was on diary of a mom; http://jesswilson.wordpress.com/
It talks about a mom who at the time didn't understand why her child was crying, decided she was just throwing a tantrum,and later, when the autism was diagnosed the horrible guilt she had for disciplining her.
I can't say I've had that experience. I can't think of a time I ever thought Ben needed "discipline". We redirected him, and that always seemed to work. not bragging, he just was an easy kid. Lately he has taken to scratching and pinching us, which we stop him from doing. 1/2 the time he'll say when he's mad "don't pinch me" and if he says that, he won't pinch us... so he knows....
Well, potty training makes Ben cry. He doesn't like to sit there for 10 minutes. I have books, and his flashing toothbrush, etch a sketch, blah blah blah. When he has an accident, and we have to go to where the accident happened, then pull down wet pants, sit on the potty, pull up wet pants and go back to the scene of the accident FIVE times, he cries. I hate it.
My two saving graces was the post yesterday where the child showed the mother she understood the mother was sorry, and forgave her.
Additionally, the potty training steps say "this is not a fun time for the child" let me know, I'm not alone, and kids get thru it and over it.

update

Well, Ben's been in school for 3 and 1/2 hours. He's wet himself three times, soaked his shoes, and doesn't seem to care even a little. I told the school there's a second bag of clothes to go to after-care if they need it.
Isn't it wonderful already!!!

I know, keep your eyes on the prize. 80 dollars (at least) savings in diapers...and a big boy!

P-Day

Today is the day! we start potty training. Ben has scads of Yo Gabba Gabba underwear, Diego, Wonder Pets, and a six pack of Titey-Whitey's thrown in for good measure.
Well.... we throw him into a pair of Turtle Tucks.. Do our every 5 minute dry checks, and on the half hour, take him into the bathroom to sit for 10 minutes.
We're 4 minutes into it, and he wants to get up. No shock there. I'm holding him on the potty, trying to explain (haha) and he grabs ahold of the toilet lid. I try to scootch him back onto the potty, when he slips, dragging the toilet lid, and it slams him in the mouth. What a positive way to start the day!!!
He stayed dry the whole morning, which means he's going to pee and shit himself on the bus. I have no doubt, they don't pay those bus drivers enough.
It's Monday, I'm already tired, and after work, I have HELL to go home to. try to make dinner, and keep Ben dry.
The positive is, the other parents say it's not nearly as hard as they expected. Dare I hope?